Fear is within all of us and we see it all around us manifesting as worry, stress, depression, anxiety etc. It is the single most challenging feeling holding each and every one of us back. The more we are able to see through our fears and follow our dreams, the closer we will come to the future we desire. Much of the fear we experience is based on past experiences or ‘conditioning’ to put it another way. As a child you may have experienced or observed situations which resulted in pain or fear and these are lodged deep in your sub-conscious influencing your decisions and actions still today!
There is no better time to watch and listen to yourself, your language, your choices and your actions. See if you can spot what causes those reactions and feelings which trigger your worry, stress, depression or anxiety which may link back to a previous experience. Then be kind to yourself, allow yourself time to look at what it was, why it made you feel fearful and know that you are no longer a vulnerable child, you have made a life for yourself. You can choose to react differently and the consequences will be different to those you previously experienced. Take your time, choose something small to start with and see how different you feel when you react in a different way. Smile every time you choose to react in a different way and let that smile reach deep inside you, helping your sub-conscious to accept ‘it is ok’ there is nothing to be afraid of. You are very likely to find others who know you well will notice any changes in you, accept their comments as confirmation you are making progress, becoming a more grounded and confident person.
If we can release the past we will be much happier and more able to enjoy the present moment. To be in the moment, we need to be more aware of our thought’s drifting off and the reaction those thoughts provoke in our body. By catching ourselves before we replay the whole drama in our head and begin to feel down we can choose to let the thought go and by doing so minimise the negative feelings which usually follow.
To let a thought go we can help ourselves by focussing on our ‘in’ breath and our ‘out’ breath, feel it as it moves through the body, all the way in and then all the way out. This allows space to let the thought pass through without hooking into the detail. Then consciously become more aware of where we are now, and focus in detail on what we are doing and our surroundings or who we are with. If we are talking to someone, actively listen to the person, which means using our ears, mind and our eyes. Notice their body language; listen to the conversation with the intention being to understand, and let them finish rather than jumping in to speak.
With practice and patience we will become more able to identify and let go of the negative feelings which serve no purpose today and by doing so be in and enjoy this moment more, savour the feeling, after all this is the feeling we are striving for happiness!